I take Iwamoto to my office and hurriedly lock the door. To the room where I first explained to Iwamoto that he is an MFUU.

Then, I notice that I'd been grabbing his wrist a little too casually.

"Sorry."

Again, I didn't think much about my actions. I was too impatient to get Iwamoto out of people's sight. Now, I even remember the first time...when I wanted to touch Iwamoto's body to comfort him and ended up scaring him. I may be a dangerous person after all. Or stupid. Maybe it is wrong to close the door, or...maybe I should sit down to give Iwamoto some space. I step back.

"Oh, please sit down..."

Iwamoto's legs hit the table when he sit down just as I say. The chair creaks terribly and then, something on my desk falls.

"I want to..." Iwamoto doesn't move. His sad face makes his lips look like a perfectly straight line. What happened? His eyes are twitching, watching me below the slanted eyebrows. They're moist.

"Hey..."

I stand up. What happened? I'm not scared of Iwamoto, but my heart rate increased all of a sudden. To my fortune, Iwamoto doesn't seem to notice my strange behavior.

He finally continues, "Yuge-sensei, um, I..."

The next moment, Iwamoto suddenly bows in front of me. His posture is perfect. It is so sudden that the wind it caused reaches where I stand.

"I'm so sorry, I'm sorry about the other day! I was upset and didn't listen to your explanations."

"Ah..." It's my turn now. I stare at the nice round shape of the towel above his head―

"I came here to apologize to you. I ran away without even paying the hospital fee. Today...today I tried to pay but the security guard stopped me. I tried to explain and, I called you but..." Iwamoto's voice sounds hurt. "I'm really sorry."

He doesn't look up.

"It's okay, Iwamoto-san. Look up."

I approach the guy to calm him down...but then realize that my hand is already on his back.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

Why the f*ck my hands won't stop moving! What the f*ck is wrong with me?!

Iwamoto slowly turns around. Looking at him closely, I can see that he has a truly respectable body. We're about the same height, but I can't be compared to him at all. Iwamoto frowns. He lowers his eyes―his eyelashes are dark and long.

"Sensei, please don't apologize. If not because of you, I definitely won't know what to do. I'm the one who has to apologize...I even feel bad now. Aren't you scared of being here alone with me? Last time we met, I punched you."

Iwamoto holds his breath. If you looks closely, my clenched fist is shaking slightly and the veins on my neck are bruised... Wow, he even used the word "punch". I wasn't actually punched. At best, I would say I was shoved.

Iwamoto's face is tough. He has a good physique, but I don't think he is a man who exercises his ideals with violence. The incident several days ago was not only about me, but this man was also deeply hurt.

Iwamoto is suffering.

"I was sure Sensei would be scared if you see me again, so I thought I'd give him a piece of candy as a sign of peace and then, I don't know... Run and go home." Iwamoto lifts his face and laughs, but instead, he looks like he wants to cry. "Instead of being scared of me, you got between the guards and the doctor and helped me. Thank you very much for that too."

"That's fine."

"Then...I'm sorry for the trouble. Please eat this if you want."

Iwamoto hands me a paper bag. I notice it is a dorayaki from a rather exclusive store. They have a good reputation for making delicious products. I once saw a patient giving one to Fuwa...but that had never happened to me! I have never eaten a dorayaki!

"The store manager told me you were definitely going to like it."

Iwamoto bares his teeth and laughs... It is a small smile, but somehow it dazzles me.

What is this...? My chest is tightening.

These past few days, my life has been complete hell. Many times I thought about everything I had done wrong on that day and started a strange ritual of constant self-humiliation. Inferiority is already part of me. I never feel a real spark of pleasure in what I do and yet now, I have a feeling of freedom that I have never experienced before. For some reason, I even feel I gain quite a bit of power.

In retrospect, I have always been hurt and taken for granted. No matter how much others convince me of a good thing, I'll always end up discouraging myself. I feel, I have suddenly been rewarded.

"Haha..." An idiotic laugh escapes me involuntarily. "Thank you very much."

Maybe it's okay for me to behave a little more relaxed towards Iwamoto.

"But Iwamoto-san, I really don't mind it."

"You should mind it..."

"My explanation was bad and I'm the one to blame for everything... I knew you were upset. Diagnoses related to sexuality are always sensitive. Anyone would have reacted like you." Iwamoto smiles, his sad eyes staring at me. He indeed is a very young man. "I don't judge people by their appearance, but Iwamoto-san looks like the type who can fight against anything... And, as you can see, I'm careless. I'm sorry."

He denies it, waving both his hands.

"I must be causing you quite a bit of trouble... You know, the MFUU stuff and all. For the doctors here to find out such an abnormal patient here, it sure is embarrassing."

Iwamoto looks at me guiltily.

"Oh, not at all. I would never think like that."

At least not in my case. I don't want him to assume that being an MFUU is an embarrassment. I acted that way because I didn't want others to hear about his condition that he himself has not accepted. Now, looking at this man again, Iwamoto keeps silent with a mysterious face.

"Anyway, I think it's best now if we concentrate on the dorayaki. It's my first time eating one and I'm really looking forward to taking a bite!"

And then, in a very low voice, I ask, "So, how are you doing after that?"

"Excuse me?"

"Did the bleeding stop, did your body hurt?"

"Well...the day I got home from the hospital, I was still feeling bad but, the next day my stomach pain subsided quite a bit. Now I hardly bleed."

Okay, he's definitely an MFUU.

"Please wait a moment."

Since I thought Iwamoto might be depressed about the bitter experience, I researched everything I could about MFUU. I leave, then come back into the room again with a brown paper bag in my hands.

"How are you dealing with the bleeding―diapers or something?"

"No...I put on lots of tissues and toilet paper. Sometimes napkins."

"I see...I heard you work as a carpenter, right?"

When I show him the contents of the bag, Iwamoto's face stiffens again.

"It's not mandatory, I'm not telling you to put it on now. It's just that these products exist on the market. They are manufactured for bleeding."

Carefully, I show him. It's a lot of sanitary products.

"I'm not an expert on this either. I studied it for the first time last week."

"..."

"Look, there are several types: wide, thin, with wings. These ones are tampons...but it's safer to avoid putting these on because it's your first time, they're for particular cases. Starting with a normal pad is best."

Iwamoto has an indescribable face, but pays attention to me.

"The back of the pad has glue on it."

I open it, remove the oil paper and show him.

"It's a lot more effective than napkins. You stick it on your underwear... Um, it's better if you don't use the ones with wings on them at the moment. Although I guess that would depend on the shape of your clothes. If you look on the internet, you can see that men with hemorrhoids or fissures sometimes use pads too. It shouldn't be a problem for you."

And here's the other issue.

"Well, Iwamoto-san."

"Yes?"

"It's best to change these sanitary products as often as possible. Even if you think it can still absorb more blood, think about changing them every time you go to the bathroom. If you leave it for a long time, bacteria will multiply. There is a special sanitary pads container in women's restroom. It is a long trash can with a small lid, which is used especially for disposing of sanitary items. You wouldn't have to, but have you seen it in the men's room?"

"I don't know..."

"Well, then you're going to have to take it out of the bathroom. You can't flush them down the toilet."

"Uh, well...I guess they can clog the pipes."

"That's right. That's what it says in the specs too. In other words, if you want to change your pad in the men's room, you have to take the trash out and throw it in the can outside. You just roll it up and put it in the individual baggie they have here. That way no one will know."

Iwamoto nods several times.

"Anyway, it's just an introductory class. You don't have to accept them, or use them."

He stops moving for a moment. Closing his eyes before making a strange movement, as if swallowing something.

"...I'm actually relieved. This week was much harder for me than ever before. It felt really awkward each time the napkin slipped during work."

What a relief. I thought he would be rebuffed, but surprisingly he takes this seriously.

"Where did you get these?"

"Well, I bought them in my neighborhood."

"W-wait a minute."

"Yeah?"

"You took this to the cashier? You?"

Iwamoto laughs... To me, his eyes are sparkling. My cheeks get hot.

"Oh..."

That's right, I didn't even think about it! As a man, I was there, standing at the cashier with many sanitary items, and before that...I also squatted on the female hygiene floor for quite some time. I compared the products, read them carefully. At the nearest pharmacy, I even asked about various types of tampons. It's embarrassing―I didn't even ask for a bag!

Seeing me redden like a boiled octopus, Iwamoto's shoulders tremble. He can't resist it any longer. He laughs heartily.

"I also asked my neighbor which is better between Always and Saba."

Iwamoto hears that and laughs even more. He's...cute. The way he laughs until teary-eyed. He's adorable.

"Ah, my stomach hurts... Oh, sensei, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry... I don't want to be rude when you bought them for me." Iwamoto takes a deep breath to stifle his laughter. "Thank you, Sensei. You're a nice guy. I really mean it. It really was a fatal few days. I had no appetite. I couldn't improve my mood and couldn't even sleep well... But, I feel better now."

Yes, I think I feel the same way.

"Thank you."

"Well, then let's address one more issue."

I cough and change the subject.

"About the inspection."

Iwamoto becomes serious again.

"Truth be told, it's unlikely to be a malignant tumor... I think it's better to have a test for a certain diagnosis." I notice that Iwamoto's strong shoulders are stiffened. "However, it is more than clear that you have a strong resistance to rectal ultrasound...I have to tell you that the test is performed on men too to look at their prostate. But you can think about it as long as you want, there's no need to rush."

"..."

"Or we can use an alternative test with an MRI... This doesn't require inserting foreign objects into your body, but you will have to make an appointment and you also have to go to the general hospital again. It's a bit expensive, but it's within the scope of your health insurance."

"I can't..."

Iwamoto is reluctant.

"Is it difficult for you?"

"No, it's just that...I work on a construction site."

Iwamoto is sad again. It seems he can't afford to pay much.

"Can I have an ultrasound today?"

"Oh, oh, yes you can. The price is cheap."

"Is it painful?"

"I think there will be some discomfort, but it's not a harmful test. I think injection is more painful."

"Are you telling the truth...?" Iwamoto mutters low. I can't hear him. I can't even see his mouth because his whole head is down. His ears are bright red.

"Oh, are you going to do it?"

"...Only if you're the one doing it."

Again, I can't hear him.

"Excuse me?"

"Only if you're the one doing it."

"What...?"

Iwamoto looks up. His face is a deep red color, all the way down to his neck. Then, he shouts in an angry tone.

"Stick the da*n probe in me!"

Oh.


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