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The jackal stares at the middle-aged man without blinking. Jeremy Rogers always makes him feel inadequate. Every time he realizes that there's a lot about the man's life that he doesn't know, it makes him feel uncomfortable. Asterios is confident that he knows everything, but as he struggles to understand this insignificant human, an inexplicable rage boils inside him.

The human is unaware that the jackal is staring at him with a strangely intense gaze. Jeremy takes another sip of ale before speaking.

"I had to get on the next plane anyway, and I had no choice but to... I was annoyed, but I have to admit, this man is handsome, just my kind of guy. His skin is tanned to a healthy glow, and his hair is shiny blond."

"You mean you liked him because of his face?"

"Well... I guess you could say that. Of course, he also has a nice personality. Enough to grab a scrawny old man and hit on him... I'd say he's got some nerve."

"Hmm... I see."

"It's weird, though, how he's hanging out with me, a much older man who has nothing... Yeah, I see."

Jeremy, steeped in memory, flinches as he suddenly realizes something. Bitterness begins to spread across his face at an uncontrollable rate.

'Right. There's no way I'm going to end up with someone as young, handsome and cool as Max in real life.'

After all, all those memories are just a fantasy. The more Jeremy thinks about it, the darker he becomes, realizing that the man he really loves never existed, that he is a mirage.

"Well, maybe he liked you. That's for sure."

Trying to cut through Jeremy's gloomy thoughts, the Jackal speaks in a low voice. The sun is slowly setting and beating down on the parasol, but neither Jeremy nor Asterios move to get out.

After a moment of silence, Jeremy leans his sober face against his arm and turns his head to face the jackal. The bridge of his black, twitching nose glistens gold in the sun.

The jackal doesn't seem to be lying. He's not smiling, just dryly reciting the facts. Normally Jeremy would have glared at him for reading his unspoken thoughts, but for now his words are comforting. Jeremy can only remain silent.

"...I wonder if he really did."

"Of course."

"Yeah... you got to be love me, Max."

Jeremy chuckles weakly and mumbles something in a weak voice. He's just admitted to himself that it's over. It's like a breakup without warning, and he's not sad or tearful; he just feels his drunken, slightly exhilarated heart sinking into the dampness of the sea at dawn.

"The reason you want to see him... is because he loved you?"

"Well...sort of. I love him too."

"Even now?"

"Well, I don't know. Now that I know he's not real, it's just... it's not the same. In fact, I can't stand it."

Jeremy has been sitting there drinking since about noon, so he's had quite a few drinks. Intoxicated, the middle-aged man naturally lets down his guard against the monster and blurts out stories he never intends to tell.

What's the point of telling a concrete wall of a creature that doesn't understand anything anyway? Jeremy feels like he can't take it any other way, so he keeps talking.

"You know, it's all fake, it's all... The life I had with him seems like it was less than a month ago."

When he finishes, the middle-aged man lets out a small chuckle and looks up. He is starting to feel a little funny. He picks up his can to relieve his embarrassment, but it's empty. Fumbling, he reaches for another can, his hands shaking slightly.

"Anyway, I guess he's more important to you than I realized."

"He was... But I guess not anymore."

"Really?"

The Jackal stares into Jeremy's blue eyes, his mind racing with sadness, but that doesn't stop him from crying.

Asterios still doesn't understand the complexity of it all, but it's clear that talking works. For once, the human makes his point calmly, without a violent outburst of emotion.

Whether or not he realizes that the monster is thinking analytically, the middle-aged man, his cheeks flushed, looks away and says,

"...Why don't you learn not to ask questions like that out of the corner of your eye? You're a burden."

Especially that muzzle. The drunken middle-aged man flicks the monster's snout with his fingers. A signal to stay away.

"......"

Instead of answering, the jackal flicks his tongue where the human's fingers had been. He's sure he's told him over and over again that he doesn't like liars, but the human is such a slow learner. He pretended not to, hiding what is really buried in his heart, even though he knows that Asterios can see right through him.

Well, at least Asterios gets a lot of information out of this conversation, even though he gave Jeremy the benefit of the doubt because the guy is drinking and his mind is clouded.

The point is that Jeremy is unsure about his relationship.

Asterios recalls a passage from the book. In addition to social bonding, humans have an important need for affection. He doesn't know if Jeremy Rogers really wants someone to love him.

For a conceptual being, love is just one of many concepts, and it's not easy to understand what exactly it is.

Even so, asking a human what the hell it is is humiliating. Asterios doesn't want to let Jeremy know he doesn't understand, so he says nothing, just stares into his burning golden eyes and bittersweet face.

"Forget it, there's no point talking about it, it's all in the past..."

Jeremy mutters in a low voice, avoiding eye contact. He can feel the monster's eyes on his cheeks. He thought it would be a little cathartic to talk about Max, but the more he talks, the more it confirms that the man isn't real.

He hates himself for knowing all this and still not letting go. Now he can't even remember Max's face right. He should have wiped him from his memory if he was never going to see him again.

Jeremy feels a surge of emotion. He has always been quite emotional, but the beer makes him feel a deeper range of emotions.

The middle-aged man's face is sad with longing. He sits quietly, listening to the waves, only occasionally wiggling his sandy toes. His buttocks are damp from the moisture that seeps from the sand after sitting on it for so long.

"......"

Jeremy wonders what he should do.




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