The hospital I work at has three full-time obstetricians and gynecologists. One is my former teacher, Fuwa-san, an obstetrician named Shimabukuro, and myself. Fuwa is excellent in treating cervical cancer, whilst Shimabukuro is an obstetrician who recently came from Okinawa because of his wife's job. 

It's summer vacation now, the number of patients I need to see has doubled. No thanks to vacation, but thanks to Shimabukuro! That doctor is currently taking a vacation to Paris spending quality time with his eldest son. Thank you! Thank you very much!

This hospital is a place focused on the treatment of gynecological cancer. We rarely take care of deliveries or continuous pregnancy follow-ups. However, we do. We do screen pregnant women and have infertility treatments.

Today alone, too many women have come to me for a transvaginal ultrasound. One for fetal measurement with transabdominal ultrasound, another for ovarian and uterine control with ultrasound, a biopsy, a cytology, and a young woman who comes for consultation with the results of her blood test. 

And then there are the interns. It's summer vacation, two medical students came to me for their end-of-semester internships. One of them is a thin male and has a rather creepy aura, while the other has a bald head. Why the heck do they have to send interns right when Shimabukuro is on vacation? What can I possibly entertain them with? At best, they'd be fine watching a happy fetus resting in amniotic fluid for five hours.

Oh, Lord...

Da*n it.

*   *   *

On the bench in the waiting room, a young man with a good physique is seen sitting. A shapely head, wrapped with a towel. His neck is thick, his cheeks are bright, and all his skin is a nice cinnamon color. His face is fearless, his lips are thick, but his eyes never stop twitching. He looks very restless. 

The sweaty, clammy white T-shirt he's wearing is likely to rip if his pectoral muscles keep stretching it like that. I can tell just by a glance that he is possibly some bricklayer.

He swings his thick, strong arm down to his abdomen, and for some strange reason, it tightens. He seems to be in pain.

"Isn't it strange he's in an OB/GYN department?"

"It is." Fuwa scratches his cheeks as if he is in trouble. Then he explains something like this:

Taichi Iwamoto is a 25-year-old man who came to the hospital mentioning that he may have hemorrhoids. No medical history, healthy fit. He said he had been feeling sluggish and hot for the past few days. No other symptoms. His appetite and defecation are normal. He is a carpenter and, as usual, when he bent down to pick up some lumber, he felt something wet flowing from his crotch. He thought he might have diarrhea so he rushed to the bathroom. To his surprise, his underwear was red with blood. And so, he instantly ran here.

Seems like this guy's boss threatened him, "You can't continue to work in this company if you really have hemorrhoids. You can lose a lot of blood even for doing light work."

However, there is no such thing as hemorrhoids. Even when a surgeon performed a rectal examination, no significant mass or fissure can be detected. However, during the consultation, Iwamoto kept on bleeding. But the blood was dark and dried up in no time, so at least we were relieved that it wasn't something arterial. A blood test shows that the blood is a bit thin for a man, yet he is not anemic. His blood pressure is also normal. Iwamoto says his abdominal pain has increased considerably during the consultation.

They thought it was strange, but there must be something. And so, Fuwa suddenly remembers a disease that came up in a congress talk we once attended: Stomach and Intestines Health.

"It really may sound stupid, but Dr. Ishikawa said there is a possibility, remember? I haven't seen any real cases. I mean, a man with a functioning uterus? Sounds weird even to me."

Hearing that, I finally remember. It's a mutation that has swept the medical world as a sensational topic for several years. Some say it is a miracle, other say it is the work of God, while the rest says it is an evolution of mankind. Mutation due to food.

"You say your diagnosis is MFUU?"

Means, a male with functional uterus and uterine adnexa.

"The guy looks a little crazy though. He's big and got a heavy physique. He looks like he could throw a punch at us at any moment. What should I tell him? He's anxious and frustrated. He's bleeding and in pain. Can you talk to him?"

"I've never seen an MFUU! And it was just a hypothetical conference!"

"Well...I recently read something related in a Japanese magazine. A strange column that said 'Rare disease to be distinguished from hemorrhoids'."

"God! Are you serious?"

"If you're not going, I am."

Sh*t.

Fuwa is a very capable researcher, I'll give him that. But he's not good at handling patients. He's been in trouble many times, even when he was still in the university professor's seat. Quite rude in his words, I think?

Sh*t. I'm the only person this hospital can count on here. Ah, I'm the only one here! Jesus, why do you have to send complicated missions to this humble servant who is not good at talking to people?

I look at the intern students again. The carpenter is as young as these kids. He looks restless. Poor thing...surely he must not have had any serious illness before and must have been very surprised just looking at the blood.

"You guys should take a break...I need to talk to the patient alone," I say to the intern students.

I finally make up my mind.



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