TL cheev4  •  ED pomegranad
R3ad at BlGBUTAD0RABLE . blogsp0t . c0m

Once he stepped into the house, Suho's eyes darted around the house.

"Mom's not home. No need to say hello, I'm the only one here."

"Okay."

Suho was always so polite to my parents. Kiyoung-Hyung wouldn't have cried to me if he was this nice to the people in the company.

Suho was tailing me to my room. He was so obedient at times like this.  

"Sit down."

I pointed to the bed and took out my phone. Instead of sitting down calmly, Choi bent his neck towards me. ‘Oh for crying out loud, what did I just tell you to do?’. I thought as his selective hearing reared its head yet again, only listening to what he wants to hear.  

"What are you doing?"

"Calling Kiyoung-Hyung."

"Can you not do it?"

No, I can't. But my hand still lowered itself.

"Don't you have to go see the CEO?" I felt like I was hiding a criminal on the run. "You don't usually do this."

This bothered me a lot. I couldn't believe Choi Suho would just miss his schedule, disappearing without a word. Even though he didn't get much sleep a day and suffered all kinds of crazy schedules, Choi Suho had never said that he needed a break. He worked too hard.

"I want to quit everything now."

Wait, what?

"Quit what? What's wrong with you? Is there something I don't know?"

"Because you’re dating Lee Yujin."

Here we go again. But I supposed that wasn't the main problem.

"That's enough. All right, if you don't want to talk, then you don't have to."

"I'm serious. Why isn't it working for me?"

Choi Suho stared at me.

“Why can you be with Yujin but not me? Why can I never get what I want?"

Never. What do you mean never? He groaned and swallowed his words quickly.

I remembered when Choi Suho acted like this. Whenever he met with his mother, he would become so depressed.

'It didn't work this time either.'

'Yeol, why isn't it working for me?'

'I don't know what to do if I can't.'

Those kinds of words.

"What the heell am I supposed to do?"  

"......"

"You're the only one I have..."

Choi Suho dropped his body on me, head pressed against my shoulder. A familiar scent touched the tip of my nose. Unconsciously, my body relaxed.

"Don't push me away."

His weak murmur pierced my heart. Whenever Choi Suho got weak, I got weaker. Indeed, he was the worst opponent to fight with.

"Choi Suho."  

He did not respond to my call. Not to my touch either. Instead of answering, his whole weight fell on me.

"Hey, Choi Suho. Hey."

My shoulders felt as if they were burning up. Choi Suho was burning up.

I quickly dropped his body on the bed and called Kiyoung-Hyung in a hurry.

"He's with me right now. Yes, he has a very high fever. No, not yet. I haven’t taken him to the hospital yet. You'll take him there once he wakes up? Ok, ok.Yes, please call me again when you're almost here."

- Okay. Thank you, Yeol.

I hung up the phone. When I placed it down and turned my head around to the bed, Suho was caught closing his eyes hurriedly.

"Were you awake?"

No wonder my back had been tingling.

"I’m still sleeping," answered the sleeping prince.

"Are you playing with me?"

"If I'm awake, you'll kick me out."

"Why would I kick out a sick person?"

"Because you’re mad at me..."

Suho's eyeballs twitched under his eyelids. I hated that I found it cute.

"I won't kick you out."

At that, Choi Suho finally opened his eyes and slowly sat up.

"I heard you haven't been feeling well lately."

"Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You look tired."

I didn't expect this answer. He was right. This past year had been difficult for me. To the point I didn't notice Suho was also suffering.

"But why didn't you say anything to me? You even had to go to the emergency room."

"Did my manager tell you?"

"He said you've been in bad shape lately. He said the meeting has been canceled and he’ll come here to pick you up once he's done talking to your CEO."

"He must be freaking out."

Choi Suho chuckled.

"He did that for the sake of your career. He must be worried sick seeing you gone without a word."

"I hate everything now," he muttered. "I'm afraid I'll have to quit acting."  

"Why?" I responded faster than I thought. My heart ached at hearing him. "What's wrong, Suho?"

"It's just that it's all meaningless now..."

"Meaningless, you say? Everyone in the world likes you. Even Jiwon-noona, you remember her right? My senior in the gym? She said she had watched all your movies."

"People I like don't like me."

"Bullshiet. My mom, dad, and hyung would be upset hearing that."

"What about you?" he asked striking immediately. I expected this since Choi Suho was always clinging onto me. His priority was always me, never anyone else. That is why I couldn't be too hard or too cold on him.

"I like you, too."

But Suho grimaced at my easy answer.

"You don't like me as much as I do."

"......"

"You don't like me the way I do."

I really did like Choi Suho. If something went wrong with him and he needed a kidney, I’d willing give mine to him. I'd feel sad when Choi Suho was sad, and I'd feel happy when he was happy. If I were told to write down the names of my loved ones, Choi Suho's would definitely be on the list.

I liked Choi Suho. But as family.

I knew that the 'I like you' Suho wanted was not the kind of 'I like you' I gave him. The 'I like you' he wanted was the same 'I like you' I had wished from Lee Yujin.

"Always... It always end up like this. I can't get what I want the most."

Choi Suho wiped his face.

"Before you went out with Lee Yujin, everything was fine as long as I could be with you..." The confession I wanted to avoid came back. "I can't stand seeing you having someone you like more than me. I-I...just can't."  

"......"

"I can't live without you."  

Choi Suho's stare was so blank, it was almost like  a void. His voice was trembling like he was holding back tears. Looking at him, I realized yet again that his face was thinner than before.

"Don't abandon me," he pleaded, with a faint, almost dying breath. It was as desperate as if I'd gone far away.

"Why would I abandon you?"

I was annoyed by his senseless behavior at first, but now it pierced through me harder and deeper, more powerful than a flying spear would. Choi Suho was already on the verge of delivering a KO, I felt almost about to collapse. I could just give him one last fist to end it, but I couldn't even dare to push him away.

"If you go out with another girl, I won't be your priority anymore."

"Why would...okay, I won't go out with anyone. Honestly, I'm not in the mood for dating right now. I don't have time."

"You're saying it like you're going to like someone else later on. Just not now..."

"Are you really going to keep going?"

"You'll marry later, and have a child who’ll look like you."

"You've thought that far?"

I'm only 20 years old. What marriage? It's still a long way off. He habitually liked to think about things that were too far in to the future.

"Someday you would," he said seriously.




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