TL cheev4  •  ED pomegranad
R3ad at BlGBUTAD0RABLE . blogsp0t . c0m

"You'll marry someone who's not me, and you'll live with that person."

This guy sounded like he had painted my distant future hundreds of times, something I had never thought about. Me liking someone. Me married to someone. It felt weird to hear Suho's recitation.

However, just as he said, it was also a future that was vaguely expected to happen someday. One day I will marry a girl I like and have my own children.

"Please don't ever do that, Yeol."

Suho looked up at me.

I'm going crazy. But what drove me even crazier was that I couldn't turn a blind eye to the truth anymore.

That Choi Suho meant it. Everything he had said.

"Choi Suho, you...do you really like me?"

My throat was dry. The seriousness of the situation washed over me like a tidal wave.

Even though Choi Suho was repeating this, he still nodded his head like it was his first time confessing.

"Only you."

'Why me?'

I asked myself.

Suho had a lot of choices in the industry he worked in. Why did it have to be me?  

"Please like me, too."

Silence rung.

"I'll do my best, so can you just like me?"

Still silent.

"If you keep rejecting me, I'll get hurt and will not be able to do anything,"

Look at him being pushy to people.

“Don’t threaten me.”

"I'm not threatening you, I'm saying this because I think it's going to be true."

"......"

"I don't know what to do if I get dumped by you. Now everything is just...doesn't matter anymore."  

He was not lying. He was not acting. Choi Suho was clever in deceiving people, but I was confident that I could recognize Choi Suho's lies.  

"No matter how hard I try, I  never get what I want the most."

He recited that back as if I needed to swallow the words deep into my throat.

"Don't talk like that. Many people like you but..."  

Of all people in the world, why me? Take, for example, my ex-girlfriend. You should be with someone else.

"I'll think about it."

That's all I could say now. I could not think of anything else now. My head was about to explode.

The idea of me dating Choi Suho? Holding hands with him, going to the movies together, sporting the same T-shirt, and calling all the way deep into the night.

That's beyond madness. I got goosebumps.

In other words, I could not draw those pictures in my head. I've never thought of Choi Suho or any other man that way.

"You can just say you'll go out with me. You can comfort me for now then move on. We can break up later."

"How should I do that?"

I knew some people would love to try this but if we do that. If we break up after dating, we won't be able to see each other like before.

"We can break up and go back to be friends again if you want to."

"You think a relationship is a fridge magnet or something? That you can stick it on and off. Hey, don't ask me out in the first place if you're going to do that to me."

"What can I do? If you ask me to stop dating, I have no choice but to say okay."

He had lost his mind. Choi was thinking something different from me.

Choi Suho wasn't trying to give up being a brother and friend to become my lover. He wanted to be a brother, a friend, and a lover.

Greed is filthy.

"I don't understand what you're talking about. I don't get what’s going on in your head. And don't talk like that."

"What do you mean?"

"That...please don't say you'll just simply accept it if I ever want to stop being with you."

I didn't know how to explain it better, so I spat out whatever came out.

Choi Suho liked to talk as if everything was nothing. It was upsetting. It reminded me of the poor little him.

Choi Suho opened his eyes wide, then smiled. "Yeol is so sweet." His eyes were trembling with excitement. "So lovely."  

"What are you saying?"

"How long do I have to wait?"

"...I don't know."

"You know I'm impatient."  

"Stick it out this time."

"No, I can't stand it."

His tone became very determined, this was a major announcement for him.

"I'll wait for you, so let me kiss you."

"You're saying weird things again."

"We've already done it, it'll be fine."

I was confused as to whether that's a really reasonable thing to say in this situation.

"Please."

Without even giving me a chance to react, Suho Choi wrapped his hands around my neck. My body was dragged down. Slowly.

I could just escape, but I stayed still, doing nothing. Looking at Choi Suho's face getting closer. Even as I wrinkled my eyebrows, I thought I had to push him away, but I got stuck when I saw Choi Suho's eyes.

His honey-coloured eyes stared at me anxiously.

Then our lips touched. I could feel the sweet breath and heat from our overlapped lips. Choi didn't close his eyes. I closed my eyes tightly because I was afraid of the look on my face.

The finger that wrapped around the back of my neck crawled up to my hair. It was only our lips but the air gradually heated up. Even the slightest movement of Choi Suho's lips felt vivid. I couldn't breathe.

No. I couldn't do this.

I couldn't stand it any longer so I pushed Choi's shoulder. Our lips parted, and his arms on my neck were loosened.

"......"

"......"

What should I say in this kind of situation?

I cleared my throat and I picked up whatever crossed my mind.

"You said you were busy filming. Did you do this to relieve your busy schedule?"

"The entertainment industry is scary." Choi Suho grabbed my hand and fondled it. "I’ve only done something like this with you."

"Don't lie."

"I'm not lying. You're my first."

Choi Suho kissed my palm. Woah, he was so good at doing embarrassing shit.

"You're the only one I want to do this with."

Then he kissed the back of my hand. I choked up. My hands were numb as if my blood was stuck in my veins.

"I like you."

I wished he would stop saying he likes me. It feels really weird every time I heard it.

"You’ll wear hands out."

"I'll be careful then."

I wantedto pull my hand out of his grasp, not expecting this answer.

But I held out in an equivocal position, not really holding Suho's hands nor pulling mine out. I let Choi Suho's lips come up to my wrist little by little. The numbness crept up together with Choi's lips.

"Yeol, are you in your room?"

It was my mother's shouting.





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